Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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