Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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