so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
