im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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