is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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