At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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