Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
