So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
