Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
