yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
