remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
