so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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