Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
