he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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