Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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