but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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