he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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