Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
