Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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