these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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