she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
