i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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