put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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