Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
foreskin is a definite game changer
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
