I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
