they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
