is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
