he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
