Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
