I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
