I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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