the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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