I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
