mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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