Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
