well I can't set my house on fire every night
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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