she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
