I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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