I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Who did Billy Mays play for?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
