people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
