I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
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