I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
