32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
