I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
