Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you win again, gameday.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
