he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
