i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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