careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
