this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
