did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
