I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
