my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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