Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
