If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
