At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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