1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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