I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
