You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You left your underwear on the fireplace
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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