You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Randomize
