there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
