This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
