Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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