dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
