Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
