ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
