dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
