he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
