he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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