Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
