I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
