is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
