Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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